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Monday, October 18, 2010

Sometimes family is absurd

As my friends know my mom passed away three years ago, new followers I need to let you know that before I start to have my first real bitch ranting post.  So for my first transplant my mom was my everything.  Now that I don't have her I have a small circle of family friends and my best friends that are supporting me and helping me as I go through this process again.  Now my family on the other hand, I never knew how in denial most of them are.  I've seen it over the past few months that they don't really absorb the fact that I need new lungs and chronic rejection doesn't go away.  But I had someone say today that a key member of my immediate family "thinks I am just going to get better" I'm sorry. WHAT THE FUCK is what I have to say to that.  I am NOT getting better.  The only thing that will save my life is another set of lungs.  Chronic rejection does not stop, it does not heal itself, it does not reverse itself - once it starts it just keeps going.  I am looking at probably being put on the transplant list between the next 3-6 months at the rate things have been going.  Like I have people say things to me that insinuates I might be years away from needing a transplant or I am not really that sick and I just look at them like "you're a fucking moron" I'm sorry it's not only frustrating but it's insulting.  The people that care about me and love me should ask me, or go educate themselves, and my family has already been through this once, so they have no excuse.  I don't know how to deal with it, but it's getting to a point where it's beyond frustrating and it ends up upsetting me.   It's time to get on board and support me and realize I am NOT getting better! What would you guys do? How would you deal with it in a tactful way?

4 comments:

  1. I don't understand. It's not like you can take a walk and all of a sudden you're healed. Magic fairies don't live in your lungs and sweep out the bad (how cool would that be though?) I think all you can really do is embrace the people who understand it and are there for you. But seriously, I can't fathom how people think it just goes away. Good luck with that, though. Walk, walk, walk!!

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  2. I feel for you. You're right, family and people that love you "should" educate themselves, not make you feel as if you're wrong for feeling the way that you feel.

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  3. Thanks Andrea :) I didn't know you read my blog! I feel so honored, thank you for taking the time!

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  4. I know sometimes things are frustrating. People just don't like to hear the truth sometimes and sometimes they have to. I would make 10 phone calls and say at the beginning of each one: I have something to say, please listen for 5 minutes before talking... some calls will go better than others... orrrrr I would gather everyone around at Thanksgiving and say: Hey you Fools - Suck It!

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