Thursday, April 20, 2017

loss and adapting

Prince William inspired me to write on this blog again. Please read this quote for context:

The prince, 34, who was 15 when his mother Princess Diana died in Paris, said: “The shock is the biggest thing, and I still feel it 20 years later about my mother.
“People think shock can’t last that long, but it does. It’s such an unbelievably big moment in your life and it never leaves you, you just learn to deal with it.”

I’ve written a few posts in the past few weeks but they are bone stabbing kind of deep. I don’t think they are ready for the Internet yet. But I think this is medium deep, haha! So it seems more appropriate. I watched this interview today with Prince William talking about the death of his mother—I bet we all remember this day. It made me realize more people experience the same losses as our own than we probably care to understand. It’s easy to think we are the only one that may have gone through a particular thing. But loss is universal, and the loss of a parent at a young age does actually happen to lots of other people. And it also does happen to other chronically ill people. I’m not the only person with CF to lose their mom to cancer. The thing is it’s all tragic of course, but it’s a punch in the gut on top of 100 other punches. What else can you do besides take it?

But the loss of a parent, especially a mother, is unlike anything else. It’s not like losing anyone else in your life. I came into this world attached to only one person, by an umbilical cord, by months together, by experiences in the past and promises of the future, and I felt it all violently ripped away from me when she wasn’t here anymore. (I am not diminishing people raised by someone other than their birth mom.)   

I think people assume I lost my mom so many years ago it must be behind me. And it's not. I don't talk about it with too many people but I'm still gutted by it every day. There are so many things that happen every day that compound her loss, from tiny to monumental, from crisis to joy. I've just learned to live my life with this gaping hole. And it's okay. You learn to adapt. That's what life is mostly about—adapting to anything that comes at you. The only real way to survive in almost any capacity is to adapt. And adapting doesn’t mean that things can go back to the way they used to be. It just means learning to move forward in a new way, in a new vehicle, or on a new path. And if you are lucky enough you have people that will follow along side of you.

Monday, February 8, 2016

breathing space

need some breathing space
off to napa I go...
but aren't these pictures from the friday snow fall amazing?

Monday, January 18, 2016

To doing everything you want in 2016...

I was able to cross many things off of my "to do" list last year; I hope that you guys did too! But if not 2016 is a new year to do the things you want to do! A few months ago I saw an article about how you could go swimming with wild pigs in the Bahamas. I knew right away I needed to go do this! I love animals and any interaction I can get with them. This seemed so cool! I've been getting so much better as I get older at just doing things I really want to do. I don't really go back and forth about things like I used to. It's become a great habit to just say to myself: I want to do it, I am going to do it! And then actually do it! So I booked plane tickets, hotel accommodations, and the pig excursion, without any hesitation.

When the time came a few months later to actually go I was thrilled with my decision. The day with the pigs was awesome. It wasn't like some magical religious experience. It was just really truly an awesome experience. The pigs were amazing. We were brought out about 60 miles from our hotel to an island were only wild pigs exist. It was so cool to watch them swim. Pigs don't normally swim but out of necessity to get food a 400 lb pig can teach itself to swim. This is a lesson any of us can learn. When you need to survive, you will learn how to survive. Here is hoping you all do everything that your heart desires in 2016!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Texas - Food & Faith

I have been pretty quiet here on the blog. It might be the battle with constant infections or just laziness. Either way I am sorry! I wanted to bring you guys a travel blog with plenty of food. I had the opportunity to bring an important friend of mine to see Joel Osteen (a favorite of hers) which was an all around amazing experience! We got to sneak in great food too on our weekend away! It was my first time in Texas and boy was it hot there...But great!

Best Lump Crab Cake Ever

What an amazing steak!

Duck Fat Potatoes

Creamed Corn

The most amazing bread pudding ever.

Lunch by the pool


Roasted Corn Ravioli

Another crab cake!

Sea Scallops

Fried Mac + Cheese

Pistachio Cake

Peach Cobbler

I love room service

A private tour. Us on the Lakewood stage!

Lobster tail bigger than my fist!

Joel was so nice!

Joel from 1st Row
PB&J chicken wings

Great burger

Fried French Toast

Steamed pork buns

Monday, March 30, 2015

Glamour Magazine

An essay I wrote was featured in the digital edition of Glamour Magazine! Please take a minute to read it and let me know what you think! Thanks!

Monday, January 12, 2015

Lego Exhibit!

IVs are done for now (we are leaving my picc line in) so I got out to see The Art of the Brick in Boston. It was SO very awesome! Here are some pictures. All of these things are made out of Legos. Some of them needed up to 20,000+ legos to complete. The dinosaur took an entire summer.